The upshot for me, about activism, is this. I don’t want to march or go to town halls or make phone calls or campaign for someone. The activism I’m interested in is how to take the work I do in the studio, out into the world. How to meet each individual I come into contact with …the bank teller, the grocery store guy, the driver in the car ahead of me, etc… with the same awareness I meet myself with in the studio?
Can I attend to the space in between me and the other, with the same presence and awareness I attend to my in -between space in me, when I’m in the studio. When I’m writing, scribbling, making images and listening, with an open heart, for and to the me-ness of me?
This to me is activism. The kind that starts at home, where I am, with myself. Then taken out into my neighborhood and daily life. It’s invisible. But it’s felt by me and the others I meet. Maybe not nameable, ever, but felt.
I must admit this kind of activism scares the shit out of me; makes me Feel. Way. Too. Vulnerable. And, as an avoidant, I want to go more underground and away from those strong feelings. So I do. I do the internal inside invisible work. What I’m beginning to understand is that I also need to let it shine forth into the world…not just hold it for myself. The big question is: Can I be okay with and trust what I have to offer…even if it is invisible?
Maybe, just maybe, invisibility is not an obstacle but my super power. It is an offering to the person I’m engaged with; being real and grounded and present. Knowing it is not any of my business whether they receive the offering or not. And knowing that my well-being, my sense of myself, is not dependent on them getting it.
Well, that would be fucking huge, wouldn’t it?