Perfectly Imperfect

process painting/Stephanie Gray

Disclaimer: Process painting will shift your awareness if you let it. You will begin to notice things about yourself you’ve never noticed before, like who it is you allow into your inner circle or how you choose to talk to yourself and your body and what you are willing to do to feel good – or not. Be prepared to shed some skin.

Process painting or working with any process art can be the beginning of a life changing journey. My life is much different than it was 18 years ago when I started painting. My old ways of being and moving in the world are being replaced with a sturdier version of my personal navigation system. Even now the familiar terrain on which I stand moves and shakes threatening more upheaval and even though it feels scary, I know I can handle it.

This new way of inhabiting myself can be both delicious and terrifying all at once. What has changed the most for me is my awareness around how I choose to love myself or not, and where and how it is I find my solid ground.  This work has given me the ability to ground myself with an inner knowing that no matter what is happening around me, I am enough. Sturdiness from the inside out is what I am cultivating. Loving myself just as I am without needing to “fix” anything is what truly turns me on these days. This process helps me to uncover what feels like a sacred secret – I am perfectly imperfect.

The painting I have been working on in the studio is of a figure standing with her back to me. Painting a back rarely happens and it’s been interesting to notice what comes up as I work from a place of feeling very vulnerable. What appeared on my creature are the words “I’ve got your back“.  The phrase works its magic on me and feels soothing as I stand with so much unknown in my life right now.  I love process painting. I love facilitating and I love the community we are creating online and in the studio. And yes, it can be intense and raw sometimes, but it works in a gradual way and I have never once been lead anywhere I wasn’t prepared to go.

 

 

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