Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. We hear about tragedies in the world and we notice ourselves playing out the same dramas year after year. I find myself cycling between pure existential joy and gratitude for life, and questioning why the hell I’m here and whether or not things will ever change. Sometimes I feel like I’m viewing life through a narrow tube, and 99% of Reality is obscured completely from my vision.
Life is humbling. Even when we get everything we ever wanted and things seem outwardly to be perfect, we change. We grow old. We die. We’re not permanent. Nothing is.
How do we live this momentary existence in a world where nothing is as it seems–in a crazy cosmic soap opera that we really know very little about, and yet is the ocean in which we seem to swim? How do we know what to choose as our focus each day when there is a multitude of distracting stimuli luring us every 5 minutes into new possibility and demanding our attention? How do we survive in a world that is changing and evolving faster than our minds can even comprehend?
In these moments of questioning, I turn away from the outer chaos. I take a brief hiatus from the 3-dimensional flux and frenzy and sink deeply into the still point of the space between breaths… the eternal NOW that runs deeper than my own heartbeat and is more ancient than time itself.
How can I even put this experience into words? I can’t. The space that I speak of is a stillness, an inner knowing. That space is wisdom. And in that timeless spaceless awareness lives the Wise One within each of us. Here all along. Unchanging. Un-judging. The seer. Nothing to attack or change. Just witnessing. No mistakes. Just seeing. Seeing the fledgling, flailing self. Seeing the temper tantrums. Silently seeing. Knowing all parts of the tapestry. No judgment. Just eternity. No comforting or coddling. Just seeing.
You can call it whatever you want. You can tie it to religion, or not. You can have an image or name for it, or not. But it is there– in each of us. It’s who you most deeply are. It’s who I most deeply am.
In times of outward confusion and chaos, may we each tap the wisdom within. May we remember that whatever it is we’re striving for is already the essence of what we are, in the deepest recesses of being. But just like with water, we can’t see into the depths when the surface is continually stirred.
Be still, and know.