Clear The Way For Your voice to return

The other day I was in a studio Zoom session with a good friend. We were doing the normal studio things that happen at the beginning of a session - grounding, scanning our bodies for feelings or sensations and scribbling it out. Seemingly out of nowhere, I felt rage right below my heart. I was surprised that I was feeling it and yet, there it was. I continued to feel it, breathing into the space and eventually scribbled it out. And although the strong sensations dissipated the discomfort was still there. I knew there was more color and an image that wanted to come with the uncomfortable anger.

I could have found myself snagged on trying to figure out why this was showing up, as this has happened for me a lot through the years, but I didn’t. (Yes! I am growing.) I did however know that my image was going to be saying something and I also knew I probably wouldn’t know what it wanted to tell me for a few days. So after scribbling with lots of red a raging, open - mouthed face appeared along with a black word balloon. And then that was it. Nothing more wanted to come.

The next morning I was watching an interview on You Tube and at one point the hosts and guest began talking about sovereignty and consciousness. They spoke about how important it is for us all as individuals to occupy our own consciousness or it would be done for us. BOOM! There was my rage again, stowed away in my chest, jumping around letting me know -”THIS is what I have been trying to tell you. Pay attention to your internal chatter and to what gets in via tv and social media. Clear the way for your voice to return.”

I then realized that I couldn’t properly speak my truth, inhabit my heart or use my voice with clarity until I became curious about what occupied my consciousness and was it in fact mine? Whoa.

After that, I realized why there was rage to begin with both personally and as a whole.

We are ALL so much more than we think we are and somewhere deep within, we know this - even if we don’t know we know it. What if the anger is collective as well as individual and on some level we all want more? We want to feel more, we want to make a difference, we want to be seen and heard and respected and to love and be loved unconditionally. Perhaps deep within we are homesick and miss this and feel angry and uncomfortable and don’t know what to do with it all so we set fire to what we don’t understand. We hit out in order to rid ourselves of the discomfort.

I try to keep this in mind as I feel a divisiveness in our world that is so thick sometimes it’s hard to breathe. My hope is that I will continue to get curious about this with art and writing and that more of us will begin to occupy our consciousness and gain clarity of our true nature.